If you are reading this blog I imagine that your typical day is similar to this.
You get up at the crack of dawn, make breakfast, packed lunches and get the kids ready for school/childcare. Drop the kids off and then go to work. After work you then pick up the kids, make dinner and get them ready for bed. You then eat your dinner, do the washing up, ironing and general tidy up. Eventually getting into bed at midnight only to worry about work and what you have to do the next day.
You may also be thinking that you are not good enough because you can’t do everything you need to do. You are a failure. Crap parent. Crap at work. Not doing anything right. AND you don’t fancy having sex!
Seriously, you aren’t a bloody superhero! Most people couldn’t do all those things every day without becoming stressed at some point.
Yet this is an all too familiar story. Modern parents are expected to juggle home and work life. Despite the fact that keeping house and being a parent in itself is a full time job. Never mind doing a paid job as well.
Did you know that too much giving and not enough self-nurture can over time affect you physical, mentally and emotionally?
I see people in my clinic who are at breaking point and are stressed, anxious and depressed. They find that they have no down time. So I thought I would share some tips that have helped other burnt-out parents.
TOP 10 TIPS!
1.Recognise that you can’t do everything! It’s not possible.
2. Share how you are feeling with someone who will understand. It may surprise you that some of your friends will be feeling the way you are. You could even start a little support network.
3. Accept that there is no such thing as a perfect parent and that is okay. You are doing the best you can,which is pretty great actually.
4. Get organised. If you are not a naturally organized person. Then ask for some help from someone who is . Lets face it, we all know someone who is super efficient and would probably be happy to help if asked.If not, why not make a list of what you need to do and time table it. Some people find having a wall planner helpful. Plan your meals, which can save both time and money. You can make enough for 2 nights and freeze half. This will save you time in the future.
5. Ask for help – If you have a partner then ask if they can take jobs off your hands. For instance making the packed lunches, doing the dishes, cooking or even the ironing. If you are doing this on your own, can a close friend or family member look after the kids for an hour so you can get stuff done or even better have some you time (see below)? Are the kids old enough to help? Can you delegate anything at work?
6. Start a babysitting circle with friends. You will be helping a mate out too.
7. Do your food shopping on-line – this will save you having to go into the supermarket with the kids in tow. Imagine having a cuppa and a rest whilst doing the weekly shop!
8. You Time – Everyone needs some of this. Even if it is just reading a book, watching the TV or having a long bath.
9. Remember to BREATHE. When you feel you are about to explode the best thing is to take a few deep breaths to help you relax. Go into the toilet if you have to, if you need to get away from the stressor.
10. Include some stress reduction techniques into your life EVERYDAY!
- Do 10 minutes of meditation per day. I can highly recommend the app Insight Timer . It is free and there are 100’s of different meditations. There is something for everyone. I know that you think you have no time. But what about 10 minutes before you go to sleep? If you fall asleep during the meditation, then so what. That’s okay.
- Don’t forget to eat and eat well. Add nutritious food to your diet including fruit, vegetables, healthy fats and protein. You can’t run around on empty.
- Try to reduce your caffeine and alcohol intake. They really do worsen stress and anxiety.
- If you have a baby sitter – use some of this time to go for a run, yoga class or have a complementary therapy treatment. The treatments I do at So Shiatsu work by calming the nervous system so are great for stress and anxiety. A one off treatment is relaxing but regular treatments over time will be more beneficial. Contact me if you have any questions.
‘I will breath. I will think of solutions. I will not let my worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe and it will be okay because I don’t quit.’ Shayne McClendon